{"id":6753,"date":"2020-04-29T10:59:04","date_gmt":"2020-04-29T09:59:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/?p=6753"},"modified":"2020-04-29T10:59:50","modified_gmt":"2020-04-29T09:59:50","slug":"the-spiritual-way-of-being-ill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/the-spiritual-way-of-being-ill\/","title":{"rendered":"The spiritual way of being ill\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Maybe you picked it up from Facebook or SoulRebel\u2019s newsletter or from the 5Rhythms talking drums that corona knocked me off my feet almost two months ago…<\/p>\n

It happened while I was teaching; one of the dancers who came to greet me with a warm hug leaned back, looked me in the face with concern and asked \u2018are you alright?\u2019<\/p>\n

He saw it, before I had realised it\u2026 I hadn\u2019t been able to sleep the night before, so I had been feeling a kind of hung over all day and exactly at the moment he spoke to me I realised that my not feeling well was not because of not sleeping, not sleeping was because of falling ill.<\/p>\n

Instantly I felt my legs disappear under me. There was a whole world going on in that very moment, not being able to stand on my feet anymore, a moment of bewilderment and disbelieve\u2026 with all my will power I was not able to keep my feet\u2026<\/p>\n

So, surrendering was kind of the first lesson\u2026 admitting that I am not in control. In the weeks that followed I was not in control. Afterwards the whole process reminded me of giving birth, my body taking over, the only thing to be done just letting it happen and stay fluid. But that\u2019s afterwards\u2026<\/p>\n

Bit by bit I surrendered to being ill, at first I kept on following my peers developing 5Rhythms zoom and live stream activities, feeling the urge to do the same myself as soon as possible, but soon corona really kicked in and started punching me around severely and in the midst of all this there was no fluidity at all. With high fevers and gasping for breath I lost sense of the world around me, progressively I also lost sense of connection, with myself, with my heart, my soul, my essence and even with my body that worked so damn hard for me\u2026 brings up tears writing this\u2026<\/p>\n

It was such an intense process, I am a horrible patient\u2026 before really giving up I got so angry, I was like a bear disturbed in its hibernation, like a cat in a corner lashing out\u2026 before I gave up\u2026 what a dance to surrender to powerlessness and trust\u2026<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just now, writing this that I realise it has been a dance, it even has been a wave\u2026 what else\u2026 and I am in a next wave already\u2026 the healing has begun\u2026 which brings a grateful smile\u2026 while there were days that I truly felt no connection with 5Rhythms at all anymore and assumed my dancing days were over\u2026 now it’s open, we’ll see… first things first… get back on my feet again, gain strength, build up fitness<\/span><\/span>… there’s space, there’s trust, there’s time…<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Maybe you picked it up from Facebook or SoulRebel\u2019s newsletter or from the 5Rhythms talking drums that corona knocked me off my feet almost two months ago… It happened while I was teaching; one of the dancers who came to greet me with a warm hug leaned back, looked me in the face with concern […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[318],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6753"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6753\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6760,"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6753\/revisions\/6760"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.soulrebel.eu\/de\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}