22 april 2018 Caroline van de Ven

Living in Chaos

Since my father died last month I breathe chaos, move chaos, feel chaos, live in chaos. I am fascinated by what this rhythm teaches me about letting go, grief, confusion, control, surrender, softening, change and creation…

It’s not a subtle rhythm, it comes like a tsunami… better not fight it… just keep on finding breath, ground, centre… move with, not against… be the eye of the storm…

I observe myself, witnessing all energies that run through my body… how they come and go like big waves… emotions… actions… exhaustion… tears…

Click on the photo to experience chaos…

 

Big waves rolling, rolling one over the other…

Can you imagine me in this tsunami and holding space for classes? That’s not always a smooth blend… It would be great if I could always be gentle with myself and make it myself a bit easier… but no… did not happen yesterday… in this distress I decided to offer a wave half with and half without music, to let dancers deeply experience their rhythms from within…

My plan about ‘without music’ was somewhere picked up in this universe; connecting cables and plugging in laptop, soundcard, mixer and speakers didn’t work out this time… horrible cracking sounds were the best I could get… technical failure… Two hours without music was not in my plan… no distress… there’s always plan B… there was still time to go back home, fetch my own music system and come back…

Proud that I stayed calm and efficient…

Strange… also in this new set up only horrible cracking sounds… a loose contact, but where…? For the third time I switched everything off, unplugged, recabled and restarted to finally discover that one silly plug I missed  and was not fully connected…

Relief… bit late, but still in time… go!

Group of 25 dancers picking up the invitation of starting each rhythm with music, then music fading away halfway, continuing the dance without music, meeting the rhythms from within… that was a profound teaching and amazingly beautiful!

In the silent half of Chaos my laptop was ready for a spontaneous action, it fell off its standard, from the table onto the ground… only one or two dancers noticed, all dancers were deep in their letting-go-without-music-dance…

With headphones on I checked the damage… and as you’d guessed already… not a single sound came out of my laptop anymore… no music… again…

Looooong releasing dance in Chaotic silence… I realised I had to guide the dancers further through the Wave… I started to invite dancers to ease feet and other bodyparts… explore how easiness would move…

In the meanwhile I found my I-phone, connected it to the soundcard, looked up my I-tunes playlists, chose a lyrical song and brought this one into the silence… music came back into the room again… smooth, airy, effortless… dancers lightened and brightened, danced lyrical and stillness with and without music… ending in the silence of Stillness… a vivid sacred dance,  full of breath and pause and lively movement…  movement rippling… rippling out… rippling out…

What a washing, cleansing, healing journey this wave had been… for the dancers… and for me living my chaos…

 

 

 

About the Author

Caroline van de Ven Caroline van de Ven is 5Ritmes® docent en lid van de 5Rhythms Teachers Association (5RTA). Zij werd opgeleid door Jonathan Horan, zoon van Gabrielle Roth, de moeder van de 5 Ritmes®. Voorheen werkte Caroline als fysiotherapeut, klassiek homeopaat en beeldend kunstenaar. Tevens is zij geschoold in Gestalttherapie, lichaamsgerichte therapie, wetenschappelijk medisch onderzoek en diverse dansvormen (klassiek, beat- & jazzballet). Ook deed zij een opleiding Rouwverwerking om mensen in de dans te kunnen begeleiden bij verlies (verlies van een geliefde door overlijden, maar ook verlies van gezondheid, werk, relatie, etc.). Momenteel geeft en organiseert zij 5 Ritmes® lessen, workshops en lezingen. Daarnaast assisteert zij collega’s bij hun workshops in binnen- en buitenland. Haar thuisbasis is in Beek-Ubbergen, vlakbij Nijmegen; van daaruit reist zij graag, ze geeft ook les in Zuid-Limburg en incidenteel in Keulen en Düsseldorf in Duitsland en in Linz in Oostenrijk. Het dansen van de 5 Ritmes®, bewegend mediteren, is haar leefstijl geworden.