27 maart 2018 Caroline van de Ven

A last dance with my father…

Almost three weeks ago my father died. I am in turmoil; I dance, walk, meditate and write… I keep on moving, to stay in touch with my flow, my breath, my trust, my ground…

One of the things I am sad about is that I never succeeded in talking with my father about the 5Rhythms. I tried many times…

My mum was interested and curious, when she was 82 I danced a wave for her, together with eight friends, to show her what the rhythms are about and what they mean to me, to my friends, to the world.

That happened in 2012, almost three years before she died. I still feel so blessed to have shared this dance with her. She totally got it, she tapped with her foot on ‘Don’t push me, ‘cause I’m close to the edge…’ and was in tears by the time we moved into Stillness…

With my father… well, that was less easy… always when I just started to share something about ‘my work’, he would instantly change the subject or say: “I have no idea what you are doing…”  with the crystal clear intention to keep it that way.

Now, with both parents gone to the other side, me and my siblings are busy emptying and cleaning our parental home. Yesterday I found the last newsletter my father received from the Prostestant congregation he belonged to. I could not believe my eyes… the front page was about movement, about ‘why wouldn’t we dance in church?’

It said: ‘… not so long ago, we believed dance was from the devil, eliciting lust and vanity… we grew up in this Calvanistic way, which restricts us…’ The vicar who wrote this added he once was in church somewhere in Ghana, Africa, where people danced their path through the church towards the front to bring their offerings. He was deeply impressed by the spiritual power of this dance.

The vicar continued quoting Nietzsche: “I would only believe in a god who could dance.” And he ended with: “Hope is the ability to hear the music of the future. Religion is the courage to dance it today.”

I know my father must have read this, though I will never know…

About the Author

Caroline van de Ven Caroline van de Ven is 5Ritmes® docent en lid van de 5Rhythms Teachers Association (5RTA). Zij werd opgeleid door Jonathan Horan, zoon van Gabrielle Roth, de moeder van de 5 Ritmes®. Voorheen werkte Caroline als fysiotherapeut, klassiek homeopaat en beeldend kunstenaar. Tevens is zij geschoold in Gestalttherapie, lichaamsgerichte therapie, wetenschappelijk medisch onderzoek en diverse dansvormen (klassiek, beat- & jazzballet). Ook deed zij een opleiding Rouwverwerking om mensen in de dans te kunnen begeleiden bij verlies (verlies van een geliefde door overlijden, maar ook verlies van gezondheid, werk, relatie, etc.). Momenteel geeft en organiseert zij 5 Ritmes® lessen, workshops en lezingen. Daarnaast assisteert zij collega’s bij hun workshops in binnen- en buitenland. Haar thuisbasis is in Beek-Ubbergen, vlakbij Nijmegen; van daaruit reist zij graag, ze geeft ook les in Zuid-Limburg en incidenteel in Keulen en Düsseldorf in Duitsland en in Linz in Oostenrijk. Het dansen van de 5 Ritmes®, bewegend mediteren, is haar leefstijl geworden.